So, for the better part of my adult life, I’ve suffered from anxiety. Although I didn’t get truly clinical diagnosed until my mid-twenties by my primary care physician. For the first few years, I didn’t know what was honestly wrong with me. My mother always called me a drama queen. Truth be told I am. I was ashamed to tell my doctor. I didn’t want her or anyone else for that matter to think I was crazy. Because I truly thought I was going crazy LOL. To not be normal is the worst thing in the world when you trying so desperately to fit. Which was exactly what I was about in my late teen's early twenties fitting in, trying to blend in. When I finally got the nerve to talk about what was going on my primary care provider want to prescribe Xanax. I mean just like that. She didn’t really try to see what was going on if there was anything that could be done. Nope, it took this pill and call me in the morning try of attitude. I really am not a medication type of person. Heck, I don’t take the medication I really should be taking. Medication to me is really the last result, all else fails. Also, I’m a complete baby when it comes to swallowing pills. They always get caught in my throat no matter how much water I drink. It's just a very uncomfortable gross feeling. I literally take gummy multivitamins as well as gummy biotin. If only all vitamins had a gummy counterpart. So the first person I told just shut me down. It was better to just keep it to myself. A year later I had my worst attack. I thought I was having a heart attack my chest felt like it was being squeezed from the inside out. I drove myself to the ER and spoke with a doctor who ran an EKG and other tests. When he found out nothing was physically wrong he started to ask me questions that hit me a little too close to home for me. He told me that he thought I had anxiety. No sooner then he said that I told him I didn’t want to take any medication. He said he understood and asked me what insurance I had. Now me having been a medical biller/ insurance rep, I’ve worked with a number of doctors. They usually don’t ask or take your insurance information so I was taken aback by him asking me what insurance I had. When I told him he wrote down the name & number of a doctor that had a privet practice. I made an appointment for the following week. In the back of my mind, I thought it was a waste of time like the first doctor I talked to about this the first time.
I get to the appointment thinking I’m really in a waiting room on my day off. I could be vegged out in front of my TV right now with a snack. Just when I was about to walk out my name was called. After getting my vitals with the nurse, I finally met with the doctor. To my surprise, she was really nice. She asked a lot of questions and said she would like to get to the bottom of my anxiety and see if we, together can figure out any of my “triggers” that might be causing my anxiety. She didn’t bring up medication until the end of our appointment. She explained that although she respected the fact that I didn’t like or want to take any medication she thought I should fill the prescription just in case of a severe attack such as chest pain and or shortness of breath. I could understand her concern and it made sense to me.
My Triggers
The first thing I figure out were my triggers. Some people have one trigger. Some people have many everyone is different. My triggers are extreme nervousness, uncertainty, and overwhelmingness. Now I know you’re saying that’s everyday emotions & feelings right? Well, your absolutely correct however everyone is different, Everyone processes and handles things differently. Funny fact on my first date with my now wife I was extremely nervous. Out of nowhere I began to sweats and could only take shallow breaths. So, ya great first date right LOL. She still married me soOooOoo. My biggies trigger is extreme overwhelmingness. This trigger really started to occur more often since I’m now a housewife. My wife’s role is to be a provider and she does provide, she’s great at it. My role is to talk care of our home. Cooking, cleaning, organizing, running errands. On top of that, I have a side hustle where I ear a little coin, and I create content for this blog as well as a YouTube channel. On a good day, it’s a lot to deal with. Now on a bad day where I have mini fires everywhere, I do get very overwhelmed.
My Symptoms
Just like the triggers, symptoms can be and are often different for different people. Some people have one symptom. Some people have many symptoms. It simply just depends on the person. For me, the milder of my symptoms is sweating profusely. For the most part, it's just super embarrassing not to mention gross. My mid symptoms consist of headaches that sometimes turn into migraines. I will also sometimes feel very dizzy/ light headed and are faint like. Now some of my more serious symptoms consist of me being short of breath. It's really hard for me to take deep breaths. Another more serious symptom that I honestly have only had a handful of times is chest pain/ tightness in my chest. For the most part, I’ll have one at a time. However, there have been occasions where I’ve experienced back to back symptoms or even more than one at the same time. Sound fun right? LOL
I'd like to share with y’all what I do to deal with my anxiety, what steps I take. Sometimes if I do one of these step’s I’m able to calm myself down. Sometimes it takes more than one step. Sometimes it takes all the steps. Before I go into the details of my step’s I would like to give a disclaimer. I am not nor do I claim to be a health care professional. I’m not a mental health professional. I have no formal clinical training whatsoever. I am also not claiming that these steps will at all work for you. This is something that I’ve found works for me. I’m just sharing my story in the hopes that I can help someone else who suffers from anxiety.
Step One "Breath"
I know this sounds really stupid I totally get you but it’s always my first step when I have an anxiety attack regardless of how severe it is. I take a moment to myself. A take a time out. I know it sounds so simple but trusts me when you're having a severe anxiety attack you can sometimes panic and something as simple as trying to take a breath can start to be an issue, it could be difficult. It’s extremely easy to get caught up in the moment when your having an attack & how your feeling. I will literally stop whatever it is I’m doing at the time close my eyes and try to take a few deep breaths. This sooth me. It will also slow down your heart rate which will defiantly claim you down.
Step Two "Walk (Exercise)"
Now I’m not going to lie to y’all currently I am not on the boat LOL. Not that I don’t know what I should I’m just keeping it one hundred with y’all. The most exercise I get is going up and down three flights of stairs two to three times when I grocery shop. Also when it's not snowing, a few days out of the week I’ll walk around my neighborhood for about 30 minutes. That’s about as far as it goes. I have been told by my primary care provider that exercise would definitely help me and has been proven to help other people. What I will say walking when I get an attack has helped me. As I’ve said one of my biggest most common trigger I feeling extremely overwhelmed. If I’m in a situation where I can I will take a moment to walk around outside. Again, I will literally stop what I’m doing and go outside a walk a few blocks. Sometimes just being able to step away and clear my head is all I need. Sometimes I think about what is making me feel overwhelmed and I try to put it in perspective. Sometimes I don’t think about the situation at all. It depends on the situation. I do whatever I need to do to alleviate my symptoms.
Step Three "Journal"
I can't express how much this step has truly helped me. It’s the newest step in my arsenal to dealing with my anxiety. Now admittedly one of my biggest faults is I don’t express my feelings very well. I tend to hold things in. Its always been very hard for me to get my feeling out, always. Don’t ask me why. It’s something I’m working on. I recently went to Barns & Noble and saw a beautiful journal. It had gold pages and it was rose gold hardcover with pretty flowers. It matches the color scheme in my office. I had to have it. Y’all know I’m a stationery & paper freak. But having the journal has truly helped me get my thoughts & feelings out. When I am having an attack I will try to sit down and get what I’m feeling, what my emotions are, what’s going through my head, down on paper. It’s truly a release. A way for me to just let it all out. It claims me down & makes me feel so much better. This also helps me kinda pinpoint what triggered me in the first place when I go back read it.
Step Four "Plan"
As I’ve stated before an extreme feeling of unsureness & overwhelmingness are triggers. One way to deal and or combat this is planning. Another step that may seem silly to most. When there are one hundred and fifty things going on in my life planning is a must! When I have a map of what needs to happen I’m at peace somewhat. I’m a small picture person. I like to have step by step instructions and or plans. To do list, grocery list, daily task, home project planning, etc. I know that sometimes life happens, things don’t always go to plan. But just having that blueprint, that map in front of me puts me at ease.
Step Five "Give it to God"
Now I know this step isn’t going to work for everyone. I understand that everyone isn’t religious or spiritual. I truly get that y’all. Maybe this step will work with a close relative and or trusted friend. Maybe even a counselor and therapist would be a good option as well. When I say I talk to God that’s literally what I mean. I get some tea my drink of choice as of late, I’ll have a set and talk to God out loud. I get whatever is going on off my chest. Once I speak to him I also give it to him. My speaking and giving whatever I’m going thought to him is honestly my way over releasing it into the universe. It's not on my shoulders anymore. I don’t have to worry about it, stress over it, deal with it after this. It's no longer mine it's his.
Again this is what works for me. I hope with helps someone. Until next time guys!