Webster's definition of a housewife is a noun: a married woman in charge of a household, a married woman whose main occupation is caring for her family, managing household affairs, and doing housework. Which in my opinion is pretty darn accurate for the most part. Not to at all sound condescending I was under the assumption that this term housewife & its meaning was pretty much common knowledge. Kinda thought it was a no brainer. This is why I was pretty surprised and to be truthful a little annoyed with a received an DM, (direct message) from someone on Instagram asking me and I quote: why do I stay at home if I don’t have kids just seems lazy to me”? Now I’ve gotten this before, more than once. Now if a person is coming from a good place and inquiring because maybe they want to be able to stay at home, be a homemaker, etc. I’m all for answering questions you may have, and or try to help. When you coming from a not so nice place and are trying to shame me or being downright nasty it’s a whole different ballgame. The tone and manner in which a person writes are very telling of their intentions.
To give y’all a little back story of how I started my housewife journey, I was working full time in the medical insurance industry where I have about fifteen years of experience. I’ve done medical billing, medical coding, insurance verification, prior authorizations, claims, I was a benefits coordinator, just about anything job that had to do with medical insurance I’ve done it. One thing always remained the same in my role and that was dealing with upset patients. Understand it came with the job. I totally understood, nobody wants to hear what their insurance doesn't cover or isn’t willing to cover, how much their bill is going to be. Combined that with that fact that your loved one or yourself requires medical attention, are in pain, or don’t feel well. Nine times out of ten my interactions were not at all pleased with patients and I was just fed up I had had enough. My wife also noticed it was taking a toll on me. My mood was just off. After about a year or so and my whole deminer just changing my wife & I discussed me staying home as we were doing really well finically. We were also playing around with the idea of starting a family. Both my wife and I felt very strongly that one of use should be home primarily to take care of a child. So we came up with a plan to start putting money away to start saving then eventually I would leave my job and we would see if you could live off my wife's income for a year without any major problem. That was the plan y’all. We all know life always goes as planned, right? I eventually got let go from my job. That was not the plan. We didn’t really have any saving but we pushed through. I never went back to work outside the home. It was difficult and a big adjustment the first six months to a year but It’s been three years since that happen and I’m happy to report we are very doing well. Even with a recent move to Colorado and my wife taking a pay cut we are still thriving and are both very happy & comfortable.
I’m a housewife because we can finically afford it, my wife cares about my mental health & happiness, and most importantly it works for my marriage & our family. I’m able to pressure opportunities that I never had time to or quite honestly afraid to. I’m really able and have been able to go after my dreams. I feel there is a disdain for spouses who stay at home or are homemakers. Just because I don’t have children doesn't mean I’m chilling at home all day watching Netflix's. Now let me just say I totally agree with the norm in the feeling like a stay at home mom dose more and has a greater responsibility than I do, a housewife. I will be the first to shout it from the ruff top that being a mother, a parent is the most important & hardest job there is, hands down. You'll get no argument from me. I was raised by a single mother that worked two jobs and with the school all while taking care of me. Trust me I’ve seen hard work and dedication first hand. With that being said, just based on the fact that I don’t have children doesn't give anyone the right to try to shame me or try to make me feel guilty for being a homemaker. I cook, clean, run errands, write this blog, have a YouTube channel, work with a lifestyle brand Beer Kulture, and have a side gig in order to bring in some income. Being Lazy is not a luxury I have. I by no means am sitting around all day twiddling my thumbs. I know its a complete blessing to be in the current position I’m in. I’m fully aware not everyone has the means or opportunity to be a homemaker. I’m fully aware some women want to can simply cant. Trust me when I say I count myself very lucky.
I’m not fully clear as to why some people are so bothered by this. I’ve even witnessed people try to shame or belittle stay at home moms in the same manner. Saying things like “my mom took care of me, cooked and cleaned all while working”. I’ve never understood uplifting someone by trying to knock someone else down. I consider it counterproductive. I don’t see any good reason a person should be made to feel guilty for a blessing. Imagine being upset at another person's blessing. Imagine having that much hate, being that miserable. I’m not sure where the hate is coming from. It could be jealousy & envy plan and simple. To be perfectly honest I could care less what the heck it is at this point. All I know is that people need to back off & mind their own business. At the end of the day as long as there is no abuse, physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise going on keep it moving and worry about yourself. Stay out of other people's marriages. Stop trying to throw shad & jabs at a person for simply trying to live their best lives. Sorry, y’all I just had to let it out one good time LOL. Until next time bye y’all.